| | When I heard it was through a voicemail..
a terrible way to find out.
I don't know how I feel. I don't know how to take it.. maybe just accept it?
I'm hurting hun.. hurting so bad and there's no way I can express it.. I can't even seem to let myself cry.. not even in the shower where no one can hear me...
When I heard I quietly hung up the phone.. walked home in the rain.. and put on our CD.. David Grey.. turned up the volume up so loud I couldn't even feel the pain.. and cried to myself on the couch.
I let the music fill up the room the way it used to when we hung out listening to the same cd.. smoking away the time and immersing ourselves in deep soul-searching conversations..
But this time it was without you.. it was just me now sitting on the couch.. I've never felt so alone.
You PROMISED! YOU PROMISED ME!! you swore you were going to be ok again.. that the chemo had worked... that you were coming back again soon and we would rewatch all of Entourage together into the morning like we used to..
You were too young... you were too special...
I'm angry.. I'm lost.. I'm hurt.. I'm missing you..
I keep looking for distractions.. maybe not the healthiest solution.. but it keeps the memories at bay.
It's just not fair..
I know you'll be watching over everyone you left behind.. you were always good like that
Safe passage dear friend. It was all too soon.. but at least we had all those moments together and for that I'm thankful.
I will always remember your laugh.. and smile.. and the big hugs.. Good night for the last time.
R.I.P. Drew Carpenter (Nov. 7, 1986 - April 18, 2009)
Live. Love. Laugh.
>>_::MT::_<<
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| | Posted 4/22/2009 11:38 PM - 11 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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